Therapy Is Almost Like Being in Love
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Most people watch porn, yet the people making and producing it are largely stigmatized. It’s like, how can you consume something and then turn around and shame the person who made it? I think a lot of it is projection, like the trope of the anti-gay senator or congressman who’s soliciting boys for blow jobs in men’s bathrooms. They want to jerk with one hand and point the finger with the other.
Five thoughts on the 2024 edition of Vegas rock fest Sick New World
I love doing taxes, but I don’t really like telling [people] how much they owe. I was living in the Bay Area at that point, and I started looking at different companies I could shoot for. I didn’t have an agent, so I was just bothering anybody I could. I was one of those people who discovered the internet a little too early and got really curious with Googling. I was like, oh my God, you can type in “boobs! ” I was always really queer from a young age, but not knowing there was a word for that.
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Nobel Prize in Literature: Norwegian Jon Fosse wins.
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They just make it a big pain in the butt. Also, the lower cost of living [in Las Vegas] doesn’t hurt. You still have the public thinking everyone is Jenna Jameson and we’re all millionaires, when really we make pretty average incomes. I always have seen myself being a hands-on type of person. If I wasn’t doing this I’d be a taxidermist or a hazmat removal person where I have my hands in the muck, which is just where I like to be.
Natalie Mars & Charlotte Sartre playing with each other’s hungry holes
All subissions must be related to Charlotte Sartre. Any content not related to Charlotte Sartre will be removed. My fiancé, Lance Hart, we met in Florida randomly after sending each other cat pictures on Twitter. He moved out to Vegas a couple months after that. I was living in LA, and when the lease was up I just decided to move here with him. LA’s a lot more expensive than Vegas, and I like the laws we have in Nevada better than California.
What to do in Las Vegas this week (May 2-8, 2024 edition)
It turns out that I already had skills for nuanced listening with my life partner. We can tell when the other person is promoting a different version of themselves, and whether this performance is defensive or experimenting with a new way of being. We can tease each other about our foibles partly because there’s an envelope of affection that the content comes in, but also because we can count on the other person to detect that the teasing is affectionate. We both have extremely sensitive antennae for picking up cues that a story contains a hidden complaint, and we are both quick to wonder if we have done something wrong to occasion it. After 40 years of clinical work, I seem to be pretty good at picking up nuances in the things clients say to therapists on the DVDs I watch with supervisees.
I think it gives them a sense of moral superiority. And I think because the public shames porn as a whole, we’ve got this evolution in the way it’s consumed to where most people have never paid for porn a day in their lives, so they think, “Oh, well, if it’s not good enough for me to pay for, why should I respect the people who make it? ” You see that with the music industry and movies; people are like, oh, I’ll just torrent it.” People don’t see the direct correlation between money and performers getting paid. But none of those TV commercials, news stories, or friends’ work updates were about me. I had developed with patients the technical skill of reflective listening but not the clinical skill of “getting” it.
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I had a Tumblr following or a bit, I was blogging about spiders and porn and other stuff I liked, so I had some carryover fanbase from that. I no longer have a Tumblr, because they changed their rules a bunch. By sticking with the safe, easy, default ‘choice' and failing to recognise the multitude of other choices that are available to him, a person places himself at the mercy of the circumstances in which he happens to find himself. Thus, the person is more akin to an object than to a conscious human being, or, in Sartrean terminology, more akin to a ‘being-in-itself' than to a ‘being-for-itself'. [Also,] in LA, for every day of production you need a film permit, which nobody’s getting. You have to sit in a room all day and get a permit, and why would you be sitting in a room when you could be filming?
In some, alas many, marriages, the hierarchy between what Sartre called the Lover and the Beloved allows the beloved to ignore the moods, meanings, and connections of the lover, who must suffer in silence at not mattering much or must express that suffering in symptoms. If you win best scene, you and your scene partners and the company win the award. For mine, it was me, Tommy Pistol and a puppet—and I think the woman who voiced the puppet won the award, because the puppet wasn’t there to pick it up (laughs). People may pretend to themselves that they do not have the freedom to make choices by pursuing pragmatic concerns and adopting social roles and value systems that are alien to their nature as conscious human beings.
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Goth Charlotte because I was trying to find a username and Charlotte Sartre was taken everywhere. Usually people who recognize me in the grocery store or at the airport call me by [Goth Charlotte] because it’s easier to pronounce. A lot of people have asked me, is that a play on Good Charlotte? Literally I have never heard a Good Charlotte song. I went to school for a little bit and studied accounting and taxation in college.
However, to do so is in itself to make a choice, and thereby to acknowledge their freedom as conscious human beings. The 20th century French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre called it mauvaise foi ('bad faith'), the habit that people have of deceiving themselves into thinking that they do not have the freedom to make choices for fear of the potential consequences of making a choice. What awards have you won in your career so far? This past AVN I won my first [award] for most outrageous sex scene.
After thousands of further attempts, I got to the where I could spin the synopsis to make a point. I even found that the commitment to synopsizing forced me to pay closer attention. My Twitter had maybe 1,000 followers, and most of them were people I knew from high school. I figured if they didn’t already know I do porn, they’re going to find out anyway, and they’ll either want to still be my friend- [or not]. Most people are still really cool with me. I didn’t want to make a whole new persona.
I like to think of myself as an outrageous person so I thought it was really fitting. How has social media helped you grow your fanbase? One thing that gave me a slight advantage was I kept my same Twitter and Instagram from when I was in high school.
Instead, she lets her hand rest indifferently in his so as to buy time and delay having to make a choice about accepting or rejecting his advances. Whereas she chooses to treat his compliment as being unrelated to her body, she chooses to treat her hand (which is a part of her body) as an object, thereby acknowledging, or betraying, her freedom to make choices. I’m all self-booking, so I make the arrangements myself, which is a lot easier in my opinion.
I discovered there were sex-positive, feminist porn stars like Stoya and Sasha Grey, and they were also petite brunettes versus the tan, big-boobed, blonde trope that I kind of thought was the end-all, be-all of porn. I was like, wow, these ladies are super cool and comfortable with themselves, and they’re presenting themselves sexually on their own terms—kind of reclaiming their sexuality. Charlotte Sartre—also known as Goth Charlotte—is one of Vegas’ fastest-rising porn stars. At 24 years old, the tattooed and soft-spoken Northern California native has captured the attention of all genders for her inclusive yet intense scenes, and she just won this year’s AVN award for most outrageous scene.
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